Monday, November 16, 2009

Hi friends, and good morning, or middle of the night, depending on which way you view things. I can't sleep because I'm thinking about really important, heavy topics, such as my fall wardrobe. I've been debating for quite some time (2 weeks) whether or not I should purchase the following items:

1. a cape, such as the plaid ones offered by Ann Taylor Loft (read: affordable).
2. booties, preferably suede with a slightly folded-over top

3. navy blue puffer vest, and if it's from Ralph Lauren and has the crest-like label on the chest, so be it.

4. over-sized flannel shirt.

In debating these items, I have implemented the following fashion rule, which I would like to pass onto you. It is this: What Would A Boy Say? I am often confronted with items that I think I like, but then ultimately realize I only like because I see them mass-produced everywhere and the sheer volume of products has tricked me into believing they are worthwhile. In deciding whether an item is one of these or something that truly suits my style, the WWABS rule comes into play.

This rule has been effective since the fourth grade, when my older brother told me that my tres-chic neon lime nail polish made me look as though I had fungus, and I think it still works today.

Try it with me now. Think of a particularly hip and happening item you're considering purchasing. Now think of a boy. Not that hipster next to you on the subway, a real red-blooded American boy. A good way to deduce how appropriate this gent is would be to quickly estimate the ratio of knowledge of professional and/or college football to knowledge of mainstream and/or up and coming clothing designers.

Now think of said lad's reaction to said clothing item. For example, I might think that my plaid cape has a great silhouette and the colors are subtle and appropriate for fall. A Boy, however, will think that I got lost while tromping through the Scottish highlands with my clan searching for my grandmother and a big bad wolf stole my bagpipe. Taking this into consideration, I will not be purchasing a plaid cape.

The last two items on my list, however, I am mulling over via a different method. This is not What Would A Boy Say, but another, slightly less-popular game, What Would A Boy Do. I like this game because it generally results in my thieving of a boy's comfy oversize sweater and making it my own. I will, therefore, continue to seek out the perfect puffer vest and flannel shirt, minimizing the potential of a 12-year-old boy look-a-like contest by pairing them with feminine accessories and long blonde hair per usual.

Oh man, I can't even tell you how good it feels to get that off my chest. Now I can finally retire peacefully without the fear of fitful dreams of over-trendy fashion faux pas.
Good bye and good night lambs!

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